Queercents Professional Directory

I speak to so many women who are putting their love lives on hold.  Even women in long term relationships.  Are you putting your love life on hold?  Or, let me say it another way:

Could you be enjoying a more luscious lesbian love life?

Ohhh…la la!  I mean it.  If you are single and you can’t seem to ‘get it together’ to reach your dream of being ’settled in’ with a woman you can build an exciting future with, what are you waiting for?  I speak to too many single lesbians who complain of this fact.

Eternally single lesbians

I point out to the 30-something single lesbians I talk to that they may think they have ‘plenty of time’.  However, I then tell them that I talk to many 40 and 50-something single women who were amazed how fast time had gone.

There are one too many 40 or 50-something women who say they always ‘thought’ by now they’d be in the relationship of their dreams, but they are still single and they don’t understand why.  Or, they’ve had relationships but they were short-lived or unsatisfying.

Could it be many single women are working too hard and not playing enough? Could it be they have shame about celebrating their sexuality by having an amazing relationship with another woman?  Could it be they are telling themselves it just must not be ‘in the cards’ for them?

Most single lesbians are probably telling themselves some or all of these things and more.  Many express their inner insecurity by being cynical or by blaming the universe.  That’s what I observe…

Whatever has tripped you up, you can get over it.  I truly believe all of us are born ready to be loving (and be loved).  That’s a start.  Yes, it takes more than that, and you can learn those secrets too!  I promise…you may not always feel crazy about doing what you need to do to have a luscious lesbian love life, but you can learn what will work and do more of it.

If you are successful in your work, great.  Now take that success and use it to get some balance in your life.  Uncover the secrets to having a love life… 

Seriously…all of those lesbian event companies and activity organizations will love me when I say this: there are plenty of you single ladies out there that need to inject more socializing into your week.

Betcha didn’t know that it’s the ladies who go out at least two times a week who are most likely to be in a relationship in one year.  It’s true, according to one recent study of single women.

Long-Suffering Coupled Lesbians

In the old days they called her the ‘long suffering’ wife.  Is that you?  If you are in a relationship but you aren’t happy most of the time, and you are accepting that state of affairs, I would say you have put your love life ‘on hold’ too.

Only you can decide this and do something about it.  Yes, I know it can be scary to admit things aren’t so hot or copacetic these days.  But, don’t just assume your partner will take it personal.  Maybe she’s feeling the same way and afraid to talk about it like you are.

The bottom line for couples is that you are so fortunate to have what you have.  Perhaps part of your unhappiness stems from taking that fact for granted? No, you say, you do all you can to make things great and your partner won’t play along.

Well the good news is that just because it feels that way, that doesn’t make it so.  If you tend to blame your partner for the state of your relationship or your feelings about your relationship, you’ve gotten caught up in a rut.

Maybe it’s time to take a whole new path…the path of luscious lesbian living and loving.  Let’s start with your perspective.  The glasses through which you see reality.  Have they gotten a bit mud-clogged?

Perhaps it’s time to ‘clean off’ those glasses.  Did you know that in relationships where partners evaluate their partner and their relationship through rose-hued glasses, that is, where they tend to give their partner some ’slack’, the happier they are?  Makes sense doesn’t it?

When it comes to luscious lesbian loving, each partner takes responsibility for what she can control in any situation.  Not more, not less, but just what it is.  If my partner has a negative response to something I’ve said or done, even if I wouldn’t change what I did or said, I’d at least empathize with their feelings about it.  That in itself may be a simple start to something more yummy…try it…

No you can’t change your partner.  Nor should you try to as that will only irritate your partner.  But, you can change how you are responding to your partner.  You don’t have to just ‘react’ to her.

Reacting may seem more ‘honest’ to some, however, I would argue that successful couples seek their ‘best’ honesty in any situation, not whatever wants to spill out of one’s mouth.  Any old honesty is not necessarily the best policy…hehehe….

I know myself, I have to be careful not to be too ‘vocal’ when I am stressed or tired.  It is then I am most thoughtless.  How about you?

I’ll even go so far to say, why not give yourself that space?  How often do we forget to give ourselves such empathy?  Try it out and see if that wonderful lusciousness doesn’t spread to your relationships with others…

Give yourself a luscious moment, just for you, today, okay?  See you soon!

Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW, Certified Singles Coach, is Coach Sappho: America’s Favorite Lesbian Love Coach and Matchmaker.  Looking for a fun, easy and inexpensive way to get more of what YOU want when it comes to love?  Be sure to join Barb as she launches Coach Sappho’s new book club ‘Let’s Talk About Love’, which begins 10/14/09.

© Copyright 2009, Barb Elgin.  All Rights Reserved.  Feel free to forward this article as long as attribution remains intact.

Disclaimer: The suggestions and feedback offered in this column are but one perspective of multiple approaches to dealing with problems or challenges. Information provided in articles and advice columns should not be used as a substitute for coaching or therapy when these services are needed. None of this information should be your only source when making important life decisions. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a particular problem, nor should it take the place of a consultation with a trained professional. It is your responsibility to consult a professional prior to making any life decisions.

I, and most lesbians, face the proverbial ‘catch 22′ when it comes to getting adequate, competent health care.  If we come ‘out’ to our providers we take the chance it may negatively affect the treatment we’re given and if we’re not ‘out’ to our providers it may negatively affect the treatment we receive.

However, after reading an excellent article by Bonnie Osborn in the September 2009 issue of Jane and Jane Magazine entitled, ‘Feeling the Pinch: Health care inequities result in financial penalties for lesbian couples’, I was reminded that health ‘care’ is only one problem lesbians face in our current health care system.

Did you know lesbian couples are also penalized economically by the way our current health care system is set up?  And that this penalizing is repeated and compounded?

For example, even though two of my sisters stay at home and don’t work, they have health care through their husband’s employers.  And, even though another sister works, her husband stays home and receives full ’spouse’ benefits (including health care, life insurance, etc.).  And, I’m not even talking about all the children they have – eight between the three of them – who are covered on these various health care plans as well. Read the rest of this entry »

Your presence is often the best present.
- Quote on a piece of Dove chocolate I ate today

Now that we are past Labor Day and, in fact, living the day of 9/9/09, I just have to ask you…

Will you take time today, with all the hustle ‘n bustle (hehehe – I know silly ol’ saying), to enjoy the present? Yes it sounds so trite, however, I am just reminding you that you always have a choice to slow down and savor whatever it is you are doing, anytime YOU choose today.

When you do, notice what you ‘love’ about that moment.  And, make note of it.  Are you enjoying as many ‘presents’ as you can?  Are you enjoying what you are doing and, choosing to do more of what you enjoy? Read the rest of this entry »

Most non-profit organizations obtain the bulk of their revenue via various fund-raising strategies. Donations made online, In person, via mail or telephone. Sales of pumpkins for Halloween and Christmas trees. They run thrift stores, community centers, canteens and other retail enterprises. Accepting credit cards is a basic business necessity for them, and setting up the right kind of merchant account and having the optimal processing equipment are key to efficiency and savings for them.

Let’s first discuss merchant accounts. There are two basic types-retail and MOTO. MOTO stands for Mail Order / Telephone Order but has come to also include online (Internet) credit card processing.

A retail merchant account is best utilized at the point of sale when the customer is physically present and presents their card for payment. In fact, if this type of account is used to take cards for mail or phone or online orders, the merchant may be in violation of their contract, and manually inputting credit card numbers into a terminal also will result in the merchant paying a much higher “Non-Qualified” rate for that transaction. If the non-profit is running a store, great. A retail account will work fine.

The next question for a retail merchant account holder is what sort of terminal to utilize. Many non-profits have a “bricks and mortar” store, and in that case a conventional credit terminal next to the cash register or integrated into a computerized point-of-sale (POS) system is fine. However, what about selling those Christmas trees in a shopping center parking lot with electricity but no phone line? Or at fairs, festivals, etc., with similar conditions? For these events the non-profit would be best served to employ a wireless credit card terminal to swipe customers’ cards and get the lowest retail rate. The terminals usually work off packet radio signal and that service is available almost everywhere in the country now. The terminal prints a receipt for the customer to sign.

A MOTO account is often mandated by the merchant service provider if a majority of credit cards are not being physically presented by the customer, and this type of account will save the merchant money. Manually keying in credit card numbers and paying a non-qualified rate of 4% or more, versus around 2% for a MOTO account…the savings are obvious and will also keep the merchant compliant with processor regulations.

Some non-profits have a website and accept donations online. Some have employed Paypal or a similar service to process those donations. Paypal is easy to use but expensive, around 4%. The web designer who set up the non-profit’s website can easily build a new “Donate Now” button to route those transactions through a MOTO account and save the non-profit a lot of money.

There is a great service I offer many of my own merchants, non-profit and for-profit alike, it is called Trinity and allows processing of transactions three ways- online, cell phone and in-person retail via a swipe bar attached to a personal computer.

Sorting out the options is largely a matter of examining the number and type of transactions and dollar volume of same. If a non-profit is not selling very many items per month, a special wireless terminal will not save them money but be actually cost-prohibitive. If they only get an occasional online donation, Paypal may be more convenient than setting up a MOTO account.

As always, it is important to not try to make decisions in a vacuum, but in consultation with an experienced and trustworthy account executive from your merchant services provider (MSP) or bank.

By Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW

I was a shy child.  Yes, it’s true.  If you don’t believe me, ask my classmates and friends from childhood.  And, I’m still not (and will never be) a total extrovert.  But I’m also living proof one can overcome and/or manage the type of shyness and, frankly wimpy-ness, that holds us back from the bigger opportunities and joys of life.

Why was I a shy (and maybe wimpy) child? Perhaps some of it is inborn.  But I think most of my shyness developed out of occurrences such as feeling different from others (the whole gay thing), being a girl (socialized to ‘be nice’ and ‘not have my own mind’) as well as a lack of understanding and support from authority figures such as parents and teachers and, perhaps even bullying from others who may have been just as shy as me, but compensated in that way to overcome their shyness.

I was sitting in the hairdressers yesterday waiting to have my hair cut and I came across an article on shyness, in, of all magazines, Ladies Home Journal (okay, hold your jokes!).  So, between running across this article and, having my fair share of discussions with clients recently on this very topic, particularly as it relates to lesbian dating and relationships and career advancement I thought I’d post about shyness.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m excited to share some great news:

I’ve been invited to panel an innovative teleconference
on work life balance for the National Gay and Lesbian
Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC) on August 25, 2009!

For those of you who know me well, you know I’ve been a passionate supporter of the NGLCC since it was founded about six or seven years ago.  In a few short years, NGLCC has already established itself as an organization that advocates for the interests of all GLBT’s, and particularly the cross section between politics and the marketplace.

The NGLCC is headquartered where it needs to be – at the foot of Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C.  I’ve been to several of their events and continue to spread the word as best as I can about them through my many face-to-face, online and virtual connections.

Read the rest of this entry »

Financial institutions are reporting a 17% rise in customers’ use of their ATM debit card, the check card associated with their bank account.  As a result, owners of ATM machines are seeing increased machine use – and increased revenue.  Merchants accepting debit card payments are getting more debit sales, which is good news if they are equipped with a PIN pad for those transactions.

There is a rise in the customer category referred to in the financial institution business as “The Underbanked.”  These are customers who are unable to obtain a regular bank checking or savings account.  The category includes many immigrants with varying degrees of legal documentation of their immigrant status,  and as a result are hesitant to “involve”  themselves in the mainstream banking and credit systems.  The underbanked also include persons who have ruined their own ability to obtain a bank account through bankruptcy, indebtedness, bouncing checks, etc.  For these individuals, a prepaid debit card, often issued by a check cashing store, is their only remaining option.

Even among mainstream bank customers, there has been a rise in their use of the debit versus the credit function of their bank check card, especially for small purchases.  One reason for this is that many small merchants prefer and encourage that customers select “Debit” for purchases under $10, as this is frequently less expensive for the merchant to process.

Which brings us to the first of two points I want to make within this article.  That you, as a retail merchant accepting electronic payments from your customers should now be equipped with a PIN pad connected to your card terminal so customers can enter their personal identification number and you can pay less for that transaction than you would to process it as a credit card transaction.  The reason for this is that debit transactions bypass the VISA and Mastercard network and thus you avoid their interchange fees.  The average cost to process a credit transaction may be around 1.7% and 20¢ per transaction.  That same transaction processed as a PIN debit might only cost .70% and 30¢ .  Roughly 1% less.  Or $10 for every $1,000 in sales.

If you do not currently own a PIN pad, contact your merchant processor account executive about buying or leasing one.  They sell for about $200 or less.

Second point I want to make within this article:  Clients thinking about installing their own ATM in their retail location often ask me, do I think that the ATM market is saturated?  While my honest answer has to vary depending upon that client’s location, the number of other ATM’s nearby, etc., I  can state that in a good traffic location there is still plenty of room to make excellent revenue from an ATM, and the reason for my optimism is the fact of rising possession of debit cards and rising use of them not only in the United States but Europe as well.

There is really no good reason not to install an ATM in a retail store with good traffic.  If the store has enough traffic to itself survive and stay in business, then you will be able to generate enough additional revenue from an ATM to not only pay for the machine but to profit.  And, don’t forget, statistically, 35% of cash withdrawn from those machines ends up being spent right there in your store,so you enjoy that sales increase and resultant profits, too.

An Automated Teller Machine (ATM) is a secured computerized kiosk that permits bank debit card holders to access their accounts, usually for purpose of withdrawing cash.  Originally located outside banks, these machines are now found in retail locations everywhere and may be owned by the owner of the retail location or they may be owned by an investor who places a machine and splits revenue with the location owner.  This article will discuss both methods of enjoying profits.

Machine revenue results from a ’surcharge” a machine user pays when they perform a withdrawal or other transaction (such as a balance inquiry) at the ATM.  Surcharges range from 99¢ to $3.00, commonly.  The average surcharge is $2.00.  This surcharge revenue is paid to the machine owner, usually on a monthly basis.   Ten transactions daily would yield $750 per month revenue if the surcharge was $2.50.  As may be seen, the up-front investment can be quickly regained, within a matter of months.

As a retailer with an ATM, you have an additional profit stream: statistically, 35% of cash withdrawn from the ATM machine in your store will be spent with you in your store.  So you have increased sales, and the profit from those sold items, to add to your pocket.  As an investor, this is a benefit you will want to point out to potential retail location partners when you approach them.

The initial investment for an ATM is around $2,500.  Installation by a qualified technician is another $350.  Those are the one-time fixed costs.  There will be some sort of monthly cost to access the ATM network, whether by dial-up phone line, cellular or broadband wireless.  As an investor you may arrange to split this cost with the location owner, or absorb this cost yourself.

Most machines now permit the owner to access the machine’s transaction online, and even receive alerts by email or text message, such as when cash is running low.

Cash is loaded into a cassette (that may be removable) and is usually single-denomination ($20 bills).  Whatever cash is dispensed from the machine today will be refunded to the machine owner’s bank account every day via ACH direct deposit.  The average location may be adequately stocked with $5,000 in cash and replenished daily.  An owner may possess extra cash cassettes in order to quickly visit each owned ATM and simply swap out the half-empty cassettes for full cassettes.  Removable cassettes also reduce time that the ATM is unlocked and open and vulnerable to theft or robbery.

For an investor with many placed machines, use of an armored courier service is an option.  The service will perform all machine cash reloading for you.

You will want to insure your machine.  If you are the retail location owner, this usually involves a telephone call to your business insurance agent to add the machine to your current business policy.  If you are going to be an investor with machines in different locations, policies are available to cover theft, vandalism or robbery.  Different insurance companies will require some security procedures to be in place, usually regarding secure installation; this will be handled by the certified installation contractor when machine is first delivered and installed.

Since the introduction of credit cards in the 1960’s, the cards have carried the card number, expiration date and cardholder name in embossed or raised letters on the plastic card surface.  Mechanical devices were developed and used to imprint credit card charge slips from those raised alphanumerics.  Those slips were then, for many years, deposited into the merchant’s bank account like checks to prove the transaction took place. More recently, the cards were affixed with a magnetic stripe and were swiped through electronic devices that read and transmit the card information to processing centers for verification and sale authorization. 

Electronic rocessing has now become so standardized that last year Visa announced they were going to phase out the embossing of card information on the card surface and future cards will be “flat”, the card information printed but only accessible magnetically with the stripe on the back.   Other card associations – Mastercard and the rest-will follow suit shortly.

Few merchants still manually take imprints of cards anymore, with the exception of merchants accepting card payments for delivery of goods or services ordered by telephone – such as a pizza restaurant, for example.  They do so to verify that the physical card has been presented to the merchant during the transaction, in order to prevent fraudulent chargebacks.

In my own wallet I have an ePassporte Visa Electron card and the numbers are flat.  No imprint can be taken.

And no imprint any longer needs to be taken.  The new standard is to always swipe the card through a terminal, whether that terminal be in the store, next to or part of the cash register or point of sale system, or via use of a wireless terminal a driver carries with themself to the customer for payment at time of delivery.

If your business takes orders by telephone or mail and you are manually keying credit card numbers into your terminal, you are costing yourself a lot of money in additional card processing fees.  Manually keyed-in transactions are processed as “non-qualified” transactions at a rate more than double your basic rate, due to risk of fraud by the card not being physically present.

The fact is, card imprints are no longer a safeguard against fraud, because any criminal can create phony credit cards and use an Addressograph machine to emboss stolen credit card numbers onto them.  Encoding a magnetic stripe on the back, however, is almost impossible to counterfeit.  The stripe contains not only the card number but other coding which, when swiped through a terminal, verifies to the bank that the actual card is present and being swiped, not manually keyed in.

What can a merchant do?

Short of purchasing some sort of portable photocopier to copy the customer’s card and perhaps I.D., the only thing to do is to catch up with 21st century technology and equip your drivers or delivery personnel with wireless credit card terminals.  The terminals may be purchased or leased from your credit card processor and they pay for themselves quickly, because now all transactions they process will be under a lower  rate, as card-present transactions.

These terminals include a printer so you can get a signed receipt from the customer after the transaction is put through and authorized, and you print a second receipt copy for the customer.  Just as if the customer had been physically in your store.

I have equipped many mobile merchants with these devices: food delivery, locksmiths, massage therapists, computer technicians, handymen, plumbers and other repair personnel – the list is growing every day as more businesses go mobile and deliver their goods and services to customers.  The terminals are also great for fairs, shows, conventions and other locales with no landline telephone access available.

We’ve all seen retail businesses that have an Automated Teller Machine (ATM) standing in the front of their store.  Have you ever wondered if those machines make any money? In this article we will examine the benefits of owning an ATM Machine:

ATM Cash Machines Help to Increase Your Sales
ATM cash machins allow your customers to access all of their available cash from bank cards, credit cards, etc., so when customers have more money, they spend more money.

ATM Cash Machines Reduce Bad Debt
Cash does not bounce. When a customer uses cash from an ATM cash machine it cuts down the charge backs, disputes, bad checks, and the stress associated with these.

ATM Cash Machines Reduce Costs
By directing your customer to the ATM cash machine, you can greatly reduce the credit card fees you are currently paying.

ATM Cash Machines Save Time
ATM cash machines can save a customer embarrassment and employees time. An ATM cash machine also deposits directly into your bank account, which saves time and work. You will usually have your cash withdrawn from your ATM re-deposited into your bank account in 24 hours, along with your ATM surcharge fee the customer pays.

Improved Image
By providing new and unique services for your patrons, your image is improved. One reason people patronize your store is value. An ATM cash machine adds to the overall value of your store. People may visit your store to use your ATM and then stay and spend cash in your store!

ATM Cash Machines Increase Customers
Your customers will no longer have to stop at your competitors to get cash (and spend it there). You will have customers stopping at your place of business because you can accommodate their needs.

ATM Cash Machines Increase Profits
With surcharge fees, you should earn enough to cover the cost of the ATM cash machine. The real profit comes from the additional sales from the thousands of extra dollars available in your store.

ATM’s pay for themselves.  Ownership is usually by a lease.  Various lease terms are available, out to 60 months and monthly lease payments may be as low as $45.  These lease payments are, of course, tax-deductible.

An ATM may also be placed in your location at no cost if you have provable heavy foot traffic.  You will receive a portion of the ATM surcharge fee and not have the worry of ownership, loading cash, etc.

If your location gets 500 customers per day, and 2% of them use your ATM at a surcharge of $2.50 (typical) you will earn $750 per month from your machine.

James Hussher is an account executive with a national bankcard processing company.  Contact James at 954.513.0762 or james at creditcardmerchantnews.com (email addy split to defeat the spambots!)